I open my eyes and look at the time,
it is a quarter to six, and I don’t feel fine.
There is an ominous rumble and I feel so frustrated
My gut is unhappy and so carbonated.
My memory is hazy on yesterday’s fun,
I don’t think I got home till well after one.
There was wine, there was brandy, there was gin and sweet sherry’s
and we drank some concoction that was served nicely with cherries,
Then, though we were drunk, and not in a hurry,
the girls and I went for an Indian curry.
When I got home the hubby went mad,
but I had to ignore him cos I felt so bad.
He put me to bed, and he stroked my head,
then I conked out directly and slept like the dead
Yes that’s why I am up at this ungodly hour
to go to the toilet and explode with some power.
I stole out of bed softly, without waking the man,
then made haste to the John to be sick in the pan.
With just moments to spare I collapse on the loo
and immediately liberate a huge number two,
Now please do not worry or feel great despair
my toileting story does not finish there.
While groaning and moaning sat all on my own
a smell starts to manifest, akin to ozone.
The aroma gets stronger, it starts tickling my nose
then the air before me begins to transpose.
A swirling of colours, a rending of light
a round metal object comes into my sight.
This orb is not huge, about 3 feet around;
it’s bristling with spikes, on a silvery background.
The whole ship appeared at the speed of light,
it took me off guard I got such a fright.
A man emerged from a gap in this ball,
he was covered in fur about 2 inches tall.
He emitted a noise, I believe was a bellow,
and brandished his gun , what a rude little fellow.
His gun went off with a soundless report,
but I was not playing, I was not a good sport.
I lowered my head on a line with his ear,
and screamed rude invectives that filled him with fear.
The man scurried backward and fell over his tail,
he entered his ship emitting a loud wail,
It caused some amusement to see that man flee,
and all I could feel was immense pride and glee
I admit that I laughed , and cried tears of joy
as the orb left my bathroom along with the boy.
Now this was all over I could get back to the loo,
and finish what I started by completing my …..